It's a really hard emotion to describe...
It's not like saying "Goodbye" to friends...
It's not like I'm leaving my children...
In all honesty, I'm feeling the same way that I've felt when leaving home. Watching their family wave to me from the front lawn, brought on the same emotion as watching my family wave goodbye from the front steps.
You drive away, looking back as many times as you can, knowing that you left a piece of you behind.
I'm saying goodbye to three little guys who have made me smile, and made my heart rejoice in completely new ways. And saying goodbye to two parents who have taught me more then they know, and given me so much trust and warm love.
It helps to know that when Jacob asked me if he was ever going to see me again, I was able to say, with complete confidence that he would. Not as soon as either one of us would like, but I'll get another high-five-kiss-hug as soon as possible!
There a million words that I want to share with them, and as soon as I pull myself together, I know I'll find those words in the deepest parts of my heart - but right now I just had to send this out to the void. Hoping that writing this out will give me a little time to focus on everything that I need to do to get ready to actually move.
If not, I'll be tempted to sabotage my move so I can stay (Silla) forever.
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